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Counselor's Corner

 "Growth Mindset"
Life Changing Belief
A growth mindset is the understanding that personal qualities like intelligence and abilities can change - they are not fixed. This leads one to take on challenges, persevere in the face of setbacks, and become a more effective learner!


"Teens and the Grieving Process"
The adolescent years resemble a storm.  The changing hormones rage, and teens are filled
with outbursts of anger and frustration.  Being a teenager is about the struggle between
dependence and independence. It's about the desire to abandon childhood patterns while
feeling anxious about the consequences of adult behavior.  It is about sorting out a tangle of
physical, emotional, moral and social changes.  It's about deciding, "what do I want for my life?"
Life for the teen-in-grief is even more complex.  The emotional turmoil of grieving can be
unnerving for even the most secure teen.  Intense and frightening mood swings cause some to
question their sanity (Perschy & Barker, 1990, pg. 42).
Grief for youth ages ten to thirteen:
1.  Death is very personal - they have a realistic view of death.
2.  There is a curiosity regarding the biological aspects of death.
3.  There is a separation anxiety  - youth need affection, but may be embarrassed by it.
4.  Boys in grief may lose some manual skills - their grades may fall.  For this age group, loss of
     concentration may occur following the death of a loved one.
5.  Youth need to vent their feelings (with no judgment).  
6.  They need to attend the funeral and leave.  They will seek your permission.
7.  Youth may be an emotional out - do not force them to view the body.
8.  There may be emotional separation from the ones they love (that are still living) - it is a
     defense and self-preseveration mechanism.
9.  Help them to understaned that laughing is a way adults deal with stress.
10. If teens get stuck in grief and depression, seek professional support.
The Top Ten Things All Kids Need to Be Resilient...
1.  Structure!!!  
2.  Realistic Expectations
3.  Logical and Natural Consequences
4.  Parent-Child-Teen connections
5.  Many positive and caring relationships
6.  A positive and confident identity
7.  A sense of personal control
8.  A sense of belonging, spirituality, and life purpose
9.  Rights and responsibilities
10.Safety and security